Gibberish.

May 10

Now what?

I graduate tomorrow night and I have no idea what I’m gonna do with myself afterwards. I have a broad plan, but as far as immediate specifics go, I got nothing. I don’t have a job yet or a place to live. I’m simply hoping something comes through for me preferably by mid-July. I’m so tired of people asking: “So what are you going to do? Where are you working? Have you found a place to live?” The funniest ones are “Do you have a boyfriend? What’s he going to do? When will you get married?” *sigh (The answers to the last 3: “My future husband forgot to be born and my boyfriend doesn’t exist either.”)

I am a first-generation college grad in my family. Even though having a bachelor’s doesn’t really make much of a difference in today’s world, I’m still very damn proud of myself. That GPA didn’t maintain its ownself while I busted my butt working shitty jobs throughout this college experience. (Yeah. I get to be a little vain.)

But despite that pride, I’m afraid of being a failure and/or a loser. It’s totally normal to feel so lost and “blah,” right?

On the upside, now that I’m about to be done with school (at least for a few years) I’m excited to read some classical literature for fun. Yeah. FUN. Thomas Hardy is first on my agenda and then I’m going to FINALLY get to read the Grimm brothers’ complete fairy tales. I’ve always wanted to read those so what better time than now as a single 22-year old who doesn’t have much happening?

Oh dear. I might be borderline pathetic. And that’s ok.

May 4

The beginnings of the American Revolution, simplified

  • BRITISH EMPIRE: All right, fine, your stupid embargo worked. We won’t levy any more taxes-
  • AMERICAN COLONIES: Huzzah! Time to get drunk!
  • BRITISH EMPIRE: Except on tea.
  • AMERICAN COLONIES: What?
  • BRITISH EMPIRE: Get over it, it’s just tea. Seriously, where do you get this idea that you’re special and should never have to pay taxes? We hope that idea doesn’t go on to infect your political discourse centuries from now.
  • AMERICAN COLONIES: We’re not buying your stupid tea.
  • BRITISH EMPIRE: Are you being serious right now? What are you going to do, just stop drinking tea?
  • AMERICAN COLONIES: Yes. We’ll drink coffee.
  • BRITISH EMPIRE: Do you even know what that is?
  • AMERICAN COLONIES: No, but we’ve heard it’s good and we’re feeling surly.
  • BRITISH EMPIRE: Fine, whatever, we don’t even care what you do anymore.
  • BRITISH EAST INDIA COMPANY: Actually, we are pretty much bankrupt, so you need to make them drink the tea.
  • BRITISH EMPIRE: Oh, for—just drink the tea.
  • AMERICAN COLONIES: No.
  • BRITISH EMPIRE: Do it.
  • AMERICAN COLONIES: NO.
  • BRITISH EMPIRE: Drink it.
  • AMERICAN COLONIES: Fuck you.
  • BRITISH EMPIRE: Drink it or we’ll punch you in the face.
  • AMERICAN COLONIES: *Boston Tea Party*
  • BRITISH EMPIRE: What the hell?
  • AMERICAN COLONIES: We heard it was Indians.
  • BRITISH EMPIRE: That’s interesting, because we heard it was a bunch of colonists wearing paint and dressed in costumes that were remarkably similar to what a crowd of drunks who wanted to look like Indians would assemble if the only supplies they had were found in an alley behind a bar.
  • AMERICAN COLONIES: You get all types in Boston.
  • BRITISH EMPIRE: …*Coercive Acts*
  • AMERICAN COLONIES: Oh, it is ON.
+

(Source: thedailymeme, via nitsujone)

April 25

Hello,

someone.

January 12

I have to get 3 Snow Patrol tickets before they sell out tomorrow morning. That may or may not be the most important thing in my life right now.

January 9
As long as this is available on the internet for forever, I'm fine with never going on a date again.
January 7

8 things I’d like to do someday

  1. Find something I’m really good at. I don’t have a talent. For some people it’s music, others art or writing. Me: nada. :(
  2.  Skydive
  3.  Stay up for an entire night and watch the sunset the next morning before immediately crashing for hours on end. (I have gotten close but always wimp out.)
  4.  Meet Chris Martin, Guy Berryman, Will Champion, and Johnny Buckland and then offer to give birth to any of their future offspring. Ok, maybe not that last part.
  5.  Work in a publishing house editing manuscripts. (That has always been my dream job).
  6. Adopt a child.
  7. Move to the U.K.
  8. Get married. I guess. I’m out of things I’d like to do.

December 12

Christmas music annoys me for the most part. However, this is a song that I listen to year-round and I don’t care what anyone thinks.

December 8

Direct Energy workers are geniuses.

  • *after 15 minutes of bad hold music*
  • D.E. rep: *garbled* Good morning, how can I help you?
  • me: I'm calling to complain firstly about your automated call service. Did you know there isn't ACTUALLY a prompt to get you to a customer service line? I just pressed "0" randomly and THEN it asked me to press "0" to speak to someone.
  • D.E. rep: Yeah, that's weird. Our automated system isn't as updated as the rest of our systems are.
  • me: You should get on that. Also, I went through the process and it said that our power should be on, plus we just made a payment, so I'm wondering if it's just us or if it's the entire apartment building.
  • D.E. rep: well according to MY computer, your service should be off but I see here you've made a payment, so I'll send the code to turn it back on. If you have any other concerns you should try our website www.dire-
  • me: HOW CAN I GO ONLINE IF OUR POWER IS OFF? I don't have an internet-ready phone and even if I did, if it were dead, I COULDN'T CHARGE IT.
  • *awkward silence*
  • me: Thank you for turning it back on. Have a good day.
December 2

Look at her mocking me after this tweet…

capricecrane: